I’m Not Dead Yet (I.N.D.Y.)

I profoundly apologize about not posting these past couple of months.  For those interested, TumorPalooza II was a blast and everyone with whom I have spoke had only positive things to say.  I do have some pictures and I will do my best to get around to posted them.

Lots of stuff has happened since TP2, but the rest of the August and September, however have been spent largely dealing with Dr. Kauh trying to figure out the cause of some ongoing pain that I have been having.  The pain started as just a nuisance in both my back and abdomen, but the more I let it go, the more uncomfortable it became.

Now if there is anything that you all should know about me is that I tend to be stolid (meaning, I try very hard to deal internally with pain and down play its strength).  There have been multiple times that MaryBeth and I would disagree about how much pain I’m in (with MB always saying that I am in  more pain than I report).  I guess, this is something that my doctor picked up on, because when I did finally contact him about my discomfort, he paid attention (indeed, he said that I rarely complain about anything, that when I do, he pays attention).

Because of the continued pain, we moved my next set of scans up from December to November and we began playing around with pain medications.  The docs wanted me to take Lortab (Hydorocodone and acetaphin) to deal with any pain.  In addition to the lortab, the docs put me on slow release morphine.  Over the past 4 weeks, tough, the dosage of morphine has slowly been increased.

The pains in my back and abdomen were addressed with the new pain regimen, but I started acting funny.  Specifically, I was experiencing “altered mental states.”   In short, I would fall asleep, go straight into REM sleep and then act as if the dream I was having was “real.” It seemed normal at the time, but apparently, it scared my kids and the children of friends who visited.

Because of this symptom, MaryBeth took me to the ER and I was admitted to the hospital and I was admitted because altered mental state.  I was in the hospital from Monday until Thursday and was able to get over the mental state issues by Tuesday.  The docs decided that something must have changed in the past couple of months that has lead to a change in how my body processes the medication (exactly what that change is, is still up for grabs).  I’m on a different med regimen at the moment and I guess it’s working — I haven’t had any psychotic breaks. 

Long time readers of this blog, though, know that the my ongoing concern about my cancer was the lack of fairness that I did not experience the dramatic weight loss that others who had PC had experienced.  Well, “good things” come to those who wait, I guess.  Over the past 4 weeks, I have lost over 30 lbs and I continue to have appetite issues; I just don’t want to eat.  The big excitement is that today is the first day that I actually ate breakfast food (egg, fruit, and yogurt).  My typical meals have consisted of Boost drinks.  I think my weight is closing in on 200lbs (which I haven weighed since 2001.  Who ever thought that people would have to encourage me to eat (or that I would be considering discussing an appetite stimulant to add to my regimen, so that I might eat more.

As always, this has turned into a stream of consciousness posting.  The major take away messages are: (1) I am still not dead yet; (2) I was hospitalized earlier this week, but am back out and seemingly okay; (3)  I have a meeting with Dr. Kauh on Tuesday to discuss the results of my scans from yesterday; and (4) I am quickly becoming less of a man (physically) than I used to be.

My next doctor’s appointment is on Tuesday to review the latest blood tests and MRI scans.  Hopefully, good news all around.  Let you know when I know something.

Merle

Tags: Cancer News, Main, Merle, Theology/Philosophy, Treatment // 1 Comment »