I’m Not Dead Yet (I.N.D.Y.)

You know the good thing about being so busy with work and life is that I have not had time to get stressed about my scans tomorrow.  Actually, I don’t know if the lack of stress is attributable to my distraction by other things or simply that I have come to grips with the reality of my needing these regular checkups?

Having said all that, I fully expect my stress-o-meter to be in full swing next Tuesday when I get the results.  I am not experiencing any symptoms at the moment, so there is no reason to believe the results would indicate anything other than my continuing to have no measurable cancer in my system.  As I have mentioned here previously, however, I tend to be something of a pessimist and there is a part of me that continues to be concerned that something WILL show up. 

I’ve been told by several sources that it does me no good to continue to acknowledge the chances that the cancer may come back.  I mean, every time someone asks me how I am feeling, and generally it’s the case that I am feeling fine.  However, I often wish that I did not feel compelled to quality my answer with some indication that pancreatic cancer is largely asymptomatic and that there may be something going on inside me that I just haven’t felt / learned about yet.  Typically, I will say something like, “I feel fine, but we’ll see what my next scans say.”

Anywho, I will be sure to post any news about my results as quickly as possible.  Just as a reminder, I have my scans tomorrow, but I will not know anything until the following Tuesday (10/27).  Unlike shows like, “House”, the doctors at Emory do not give you the results of your tests within 15 minutes.

On a more personal note, I remain humbled at the number of people who continue to check in on my blog.  It makes me feel good when I see people with whom I have not spoken in a while (Anna H., Kathy P., Shawn L., David M.), and they already know about my scans coming up and they wish me luck.  Thank you for your continued support and caring.

Cheers,

Merle

Tags: Cancer News, Main, Theology/Philosophy, Treatment // Add Comment »