Survivor or Patient?
Hello from the National Science Center (Fort Discovery) in Augusta, GA (yup, in true GEEK fashion, I am blogging while the cub scouts traipse around the science center on a scavenger hunt). As per most of my weekends, this has been a busy couple of days. Yesterday evening, I made my way up to Gainesville, GA for an evening (and following day) of Wood Badge Staff training. I am very honored to have been asked to participate as part of this year’s staff. My time in the program last year was helpful on many different levels — helping me to be a better scouter as well as helping me deal with being diagnosed with pancreas cancer. The folks last year were incredibly supportive and they continue to be similarly supportive now.
In fact, there have been times in which I have wanted to tell the leadership of SR981 (that’s Southern Region, course #981) that I am not as fragile as they sometimes seem to think I am. Of course, as one friend pointed out to me, if I didn’t have people telling me (over and over) to take care of myself, I may, possibly, perhaps, over do it.
Case in point, after finishing up at Gainesville earlier this afternoon, I hopped into my car and drove to Augusta (3+ hours away). Not to say that I am over doing the scout thing (um….I went to a boy scout meeting on Monday, ran a cub scout meeting on Tuesday, participated in a boy scout swim test on Wednesday, went to a boy scout leader’s meeting on Thursday, and Wood Badge training Friday and Saturday, and the cub scout trip this evening and tomorrow). Other than that, I have not done anything with scouts this week.
Anywho, I had an interesting conversation with a friend the other day in which she asked whether I considered myself a cancer patient, a cancer survivor, or some other designation. I thought that was an interesting question. I remember when I first talked to the therapist at the cancer institute early on in my journey, she referred to me as a cancer survivor (even though I had not even begun treatment). Rachel (about whom I wrote a couple of posts ago) feels as though her cancer is gone and she is done with cancer. I often think of myself as a cancer patient (’cause I continue to be treated for cancer).
So which is correct? Is there a correct answer? My friend told me that she thinks of the term “survivor” in terms of an accident — that someone ‘survives’ a plane or car crash or the like. She said it seems odd to apply that term to having cancer (because there isn’t that similar devastating moment. Does someone survive the flu or some other infection?
I use the terms interchangeably. Indeed, I tend to use the term survivor moreso because that is the language of the disease. It puts the cancer in a positive light — right now, I’m suriving the cancer. For me, however, the terms will not mean anything appreciably different until I make it to April 23, 2013 — after I have gotten to my 5-year anniversary of being diagnosed; THEN I will truly feel as though I have survived this disease.
In the meantime, I continue to fight. I will battle cancer for all I’m worth. I may be a cancer patient, but I refuse to be patient with the cancer.
Sometime soon, I want to talk about an article a friend forwarded to me from a NY Times writer about his experiences with cancer — in it, he talks about needing o adjust to CST (cancer standard time).
Until then…
Thank you for reading.
Merle
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