Praying for me…
First off, today I think the weekend caught up with me. After dropping Mom off at the airport, the family and I spent 3+ hours at church, for our monthly potluck lunch and our annual congregational meeting (by the end of which, I wondered which would be worse, continuing in the meeting or starting my chemo/radiation a day early)! 
By the time we got home, though, I was exhausted and came upstairs and have been in bed for the rest of the day, feeling generally weak, somewhat nauseas, and itchy from an unknown rash I will point out to the oncologist tomorrow.
My mother-in-law (Elaine) left a comment today to let me know that I am on the prayer lists of several churches in Cincinnati. In addition, there are apparently several churches here in Atlanta that have my name on their prayer lists. Upon hearing about my illness, countless people have told me that I was in their prayers. Indeed, the folks at Luxomni Baptist Church, led by Karen Myers (a leader from my former cub scout pack), even made me a beautiful prayer quilt.
On the quilt, Karen and others attached threads that were tied by a bunch of cub scouts from my old pack. Each thread represents a prayer for me. Interesting sidenote: when Karen asked if she could make me a prayer quilt, she asked what my favorite Bible verse was. Being raised in the Jewish faith, I was not terribly familiar with many of the Bible versus, so I turned to MaryBeth for guidance; she picked Jerimiah 29:11 -
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
As I have mentioned, I am not terribly spiritual and so I am left with an unclear means by which to interpret people ‘praying’ for me. While some contend that intercessory (or distance) prayer works, the results of such confirmatory studies may be attributable to subject expectancy: the effects found are attributable to changes that occur as a result of the expectations of the participants (e.g., people who know they are being prayed for, perhaps, got better because they knew that folks were praying for them). Though there is some research in support of the efficacy of distance prayer, other work does not support it. In the end, the results are inconclusive.
My (some people would say, overly) scientific / analytical personality makes it difficult for me to embrace the power of prayer. So how shall I react when people tell me they are praying for me? One approach might be similar to what one mother of a cancer patient in Lori Hope’s book (“Help Me Live: 20 Things People with Cancer Want you to Know”
I choose, instead, take a different tact: I start by first engaging my “Religious to English” dictionary and understand that when someone tells me they are ‘praying’ for me, they are saying “I care about you and want to try and help in a way that is meaningful (to them).” In Unitarian language, they are saying, “I am thinking about you” or “I am sending you positive energy and/or love.” I don’t have to believe in the power of prayer to really appreciate that people are willing to try and help with prayer or thoughts. Heck, I’ll take all the help I can get; if prayer is effective, I don’t want to discount it because of my pessimism / skepticism. So “Thank you!” for those of you who have told me they are praying for me…or keeping me in their thoughts…or sending my positive energy; I feel well and truly loved and that, above all, helps me get by day to day!
Next up — Treatment week 2!
Merle
Good morning, my friend!
I wanted to share my feelings with you on the whole prayer thing – I hope that is okay. I stand with you in the whole ‘every little bit helps’ stance; however, I do believe in the ‘power of prayer’. I do believe that God is there with us even in our valleys and our terrible days. It maybe naive of me to cling to this belief, but as you are facing the same sort of uphill battle I have faced I found the fact that similar to your story, people I hadn’t talked to in years all across the country would tell me they were praying for me – and this encouraged me a great deal. In my sometimes flawed opinion, prayer and/or faith is part of the healing process and an essential part of the journey through cancer. I know I know – the evidence is inconclusive, but for you and I failure is not an option, my friend. Covet those prayers – at this point they certainly will not hurt, right?
I think of you often and pray that you are having as few side effects as possible. Hang in there, you are on the path through!
Rhonda
Sorry clarification needed:
Just want you to know that I read that part about continuing the annual meeting or starting chemo/radiation early….
Dear Merle,
You are certainly creating a poignant story for your friends and family so that they can experience your journey with you through this journey… especially for your children, how important this will be to them in understanding you in the future.
Have you ever read Robert Fulghum’s play, “All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten”? I saw the play recently, directed by one of my former students (!). I was reminded of you. The illustrations through enactment make the lessons far more engaging than the book. Try to catch a performance. It will make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Lots of love, and hugs all around.
Cat
The man who taught me a life lesson about prayer was a Baptist Minister who is also a good family friend. I was in the hospital recovering from a major surgery and he made a pastoral visit. At the end of the visit he said, “Let us hold hands in prayer”. Now he knew we were Unitarians and I wondered where this was going to go with this, but out of respect I bowed my head yet kept one eye open.
He spoke a wonderful prayer that expressed gratitude for the dedication of the Doctors, Nurses and Hospital staff who made the cure for my condition possible. He did not ask for “magic” or intercession. He simply recognized the miracle that so many could be so involved with helping others and they did so because in their hearts they were they were trying to make a difference.
I now close my eyes when I pray and try to fill my heart with gratitude for the many miracles that others bring to my life.
I wish the same for you – there are many outstretched hands and hearts to lift you up. Count on them.
Gosh, I know which I would pick (meeting or treatment), and I don’t even have cancer!!!!!!
Love ya, man.