I’m Not Dead Yet (I.N.D.Y.)

As I said yesterday, Week 2 was (generally) a breeze. I can only hope the rest of my time in treatment will go as well. BTW, my whole rare event theory took a blow this week as I <sigh> did NOT win the Mega Millions lottery. However, there is another opportunity to try again today, so perhaps tonight will be the night! (Of course, I have a personal theory that winning lottery tickets are usually purchased at convenience stores in small (often rural) communities. Perhaps I need to drive to Cumming, GA or Loganville, GA or some such?!?

I was tooling around on the net today and found a reference to the fact that Luciano Pavarotti also had pancreas cancer; he died in September, 2007. In July, 2006, during an interview for the Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera, Pavarotti said, “I was a fortunate and happy man. After that, this blow arrived. And now I am paying the penalty for this fortune and happiness.” Why did Pavarotti think that his cancer was somehow a ‘consequence’ of his fame and fortune?

This type of thinking is similar to recounts that Rabbi Kushner gives in his book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. Early in the book, Rabbi Kushner tells of a visit to some of his congregants whose child had died when it had fallen out of their apartment window. Upon entering the apartment, the congregants asked Rabbi Kushner how this could have happened and then asked if they were being punished for not praying enough (the implication was that God was imparting retribution for some transgression the congregants thought they had done).

I understand the comfort that is involved with the belief that there is order to the world, but in reality much of what happens in the world is attributable to chaos. Chaos theory says that systems (electrical systems, biologic systems, ecological systems) are all dynamic, meaning they are constantly changing, and are sensitive to initial conditions. This sensitivity is also known as the “Butterfly Effect.” The idea being that very small changes in the initial condition of a system (such as the flapping of a butterfly’s wings) can have drastic changes.

This effect came to be known as the butterfly effect. The amount of difference in the starting points of the two curves is so small that it is comparable to a butterfly flapping its wings.

The flapping of a single butterfly’s wing today produces a tiny change in the state of the atmosphere. Over a period of time, what the atmosphere actually does diverges from what it would have done. So, in a month’s time, a tornado that would have devastated the Indonesian coast doesn’t happen. Or maybe one that wasn’t going to happen, does. (Ian Stewart, Does God Play Dice? The Mathematics of Chaos, pg. 141)

If you want to read more about chaos theory you can check out this Wikipedia page or this other brief discussion.

As I said, I understand the desire to find some reason for both good and bad things in our lives; a lot of people (my wife included) need to believe there is a reason for their existence. It is possible I may get to that point eventually, but right now, it is sufficient that I do more good than harm during my life.

Merle

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