Half Way There
Today is a momentous occasion. Okay, perhaps not THAT momentous, but it IS a milestone. Today was my 14th radiation treatment, marking the midpoint of my treatment cycle. At the risk of jinxing myself, I have been kicking this cancer’s butt! I have been getting tired more easily this week than in previous weeks (I came home SPECIFICALLY to take a nap — and I don’t take naps)! Actually, as my wife reminded me, it’s going to get worse before it gets better, but I should be happy that fatigue (and some mild nausea) is all I’m dealing with at this point in time.
For those of you who haven’t seen me recently, this is a picture taken today by a fellow photographer. Early on in my treatment, one of my radiologists told me that I cannot control much with regards to this disease, but I can control whether or not I have hair. As a result, I have shaved my head. Of course, at this point, none of my other hair is falling out, so perhaps I will not lose any other hair, but I continue to shave my head everyday in defiance of this cancer.
On Sunday, I talked about how my 4-year old daughter made me sad when she told me she didn’t want me to die. (I was not sad that she didn’t want me to die, but rather I was sad that it was a possibility about which she was aware). However, most of the time, my daughter does nothing so much as put a smile on my face. Routinely, when I come home from work, my daughter runs out of the house to tell me how excited she is to see me. Other days, I get home when my wife and kids are still out. When this happens, my daughter’s first activity is to come find me and tell me how much she missed me. I recall my younger son going through much the same at this age, but he was less….active about it (although, like my daughter, my younger son was a big proponent of identification through impact). Tonight, I just enjoyed walking with my daughter, hand in hand, and it is moments like that I will continue to hold onto as my battle against this cancer gets more difficult!
Merle
ps — It’s been amusing to get comments from various folks, both on the blog and via Email, that have told me that they had engaged in a version of the ‘violating social norms’ activity I described yesterday. Those social psychologists…we’re a sneaky bunch. (I won’t even mention the participant observer activity in a men’s bathroom that some social psychologist did — not me — that was one of the studies that led to the creation of Institutional Review Boards).