It’s an Inconvenience not a Crisis

I guess sometimes scheduling is more difficult than at other times.  Two weeks ago (5/13), I saw the oncologist and we set tomorrow (5/23) for the date to have my chemo-port installed and next Tuesday (5/27) as my first day of treatment.  Today started out badly, as I had yet to hear from the hospital about what time I should show up for my outpatient procedure, so I called the clinical trial coordinator.  Soon thereafter, I heard from the hospital and I was scheduled to have my port installed at 1:30p.  Unfortunately, that coincided with the time scheduled for my CT scan and Ultrasound (both required procedures to get into the clinical trial).  About 3p this afternoon, I heard back from the clinical trial coordinator…apparently, the radiologists are NOT AVAILABLE next Tuesday.  Sorry!  You’ll have to wait until June 2 to start the clinical trial.

So let’s review:  I declined a visit up to Hopkins because I was going to start treatment next week (and Dr. Cameron at Hopkins couldn’t get me until next week).  Who knows whether he’ll be able to get me in at this point?  Marina had been successful in lining up folks to help with childcare for tomorrow and next week, but as it turns out, we don’t need childcare now.  I had made plans to travel up to the Northeast to visit with my mother, brothers, and sister (and their respective families) so we could get together before I really get into the trial and am less inclined to travel.  Finally, I have been getting increasingly anxious as the beginning of treatment approached.  Now, it seems I have another week to be anxious.  All in all, I have to say I’m really quite angry at this turn of events.

I do not know why this happened, but I suspect user error.  However, as a friend has told me repeatedly over the years, this is an inconvenience, NOT a crisis.  In the end, it is unlikely that there will be any substantial progress in my disease by waiting another week.  Nevertheless, what started out as a generally good day quickly went downhill.  It’s hard to remain positive when having “inconveniences” like this!  :-)

We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world. – Helen Keller

Thus, I will try to get myself into the mindset that this inconvenience will help me build these qualities.

May your evening be less annoying.

Merle