So I had to get up at 3a this morning to take the 2nd dose of “prep” for my biopsy today and I was unable to go back to sleep, so I thought I would blog. It’s funny: I setup a blog for my business website and found myself having trouble thinking what to add to it. Writing this blog, though, has been easier.
Over the weekend of April 25th-27th, I attended weekend #1 of the BSA Wood Badge for the 21st Century program. I am a member of the beaver patrol in Wood Badge course SR-909. “I used to be a Beaver; a good ‘ole beaver, too…” (wood badgers will understand that…). Three days before I was to attend this course, as I had mentioned in a previous post, I found out on April 23rd that I had the tumor on my pancreas. Now, up until then, I really had never been bothered by stomach pains, but during that weekend, I experienced pretty significant stomach cramps and various gastrointestinal … um … challenges! (Let’s just say that I was glad there were a sufficient number of restrooms.) I found myself getting overly tired and had to take a nap on Saturday in order to make it through the day. As I don’t normally take naps, my wife says she begins to worry about me if I say I’m going to take a nap. Over the next couple of days, I continued to feel yucky in the afternoon and have abdominal pains.
Then toward the end of last week, I spoke with my family pharmacist (my mother-in-law), who suggested that perhaps my discomfort was psychosomatic, rather than physical. What she was suggesting was that my discomfort my have been attributable to anxiety or depression. Further, she suggested that many oncologists will prescribe anti-anxiety or antidepressant medication to people with cancer (particularly those who were newly diagnosed). Now, I am a PhD psychologist, although I am not a clinical psychologist (someone who works with clients to help alleviate their psychological-based distress) . Instead, I am a social psychologist. Social psychology focuses on how the thoughts, behaviors, and emotions of an individual are affected by other people.
Having said all that, one would think that I would have been able to realize that it was unlikely that I would begin to experience discomfort almost as soon as I found out about the existence of the tumor. One would think. Yet, at the time, it made sense that I was having these sensations. The good news is that shortly after my mother-in-law made that observation, the pain and discomfort (mostly) went away. I still get tired from time to time, but I am no longer experiencing the level of discomfort I was a couple of weeks ago.
Thus, as long as I am able, i will continue to run and exercise and be a scout leader and a photographer and work and do all the things I did before April 22nd. I wanted to end this blog posting with a quote or saying that embodies the ‘Live each day as if it is your last’ (making the point that I want to try and get the most out of life, regardless of my battle with cancer). Instead, I will repeat a slogan my wife is helping me to embody:
“Don’t sweat the little things.”
Cheers,
Merle
Tags: Family, Main, Merle, On my honor, I will try, Theology/Philosophy, Treatment by Merle
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